5 Simple Steps to Expressing Yourself More Freely

Even if you don’t know what they are, you’ve probably used them.


That’s the technical name for the little smiley and winky faces you use in text messages and other forms of written communication.

There was news last week that “Unicode, an industry standard that regualates the presentation of text across different software platforms, updated today to include 250 new emoji.”

Why am I telling you this?

Because for some people, adding a smiley face to a text message is as expressive as they get all day!

I’ve had clients tell me stories about how they really hit it off in emails and texts with someone, only to meet them in person and find them devoid of any of the emotion or warmth that they had so readily conveyed via electronic communication.

A lot of people hold back in life, biting their tongue to keep them from saying what they really think and feel for fear of hurting somebody’s feelings. Some people struggle to express their emotion to loved ones and cringe at the very thought of saying “I love you” to their nearest and dearest.

Some Common Signs You’re Not Expressing Yourself Enough Include:
  • Frequently experiencing ‘road rage’
  • Turning to food for comfort
  • Feeling resentment towards certain friends or family members
  • Getting overly emotional at seeminly insignificant events
  • Overthinking things

In the words of Sigmund Freud, “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”

Here are 5 Steps to Expressing Yourself More Freely

Be Grateful

Make a point each day to think about what you are grateful for in your life and what you appreciate. For maximum benefit, at the end of every day, write down at least 10 things that you appreciate and are grateful for in your life. It could be as simple as the hot shower you had in the morning, or a conversation with a friend.

By focusing on good quality thoughts, you will naturally feel good. When you feel good you are generally happier and more present. When you are feeling happy and present, you will feel more comfortable expressing yourself. You’ll also experience more good things to be grateful and happy about.

Resolve Negative Emotions

When you experience a negative emotion such as jealousy, anger, resentment or guilt, examine it. Problems occur when people repress their feelings rather than expressing them. If you find yourself experiencing road rage on a regular basis or reaching for food to comfort yourself, chances are you have some unresolved emotions to clear away.
You can release negative emotions by doing the ‘Cutting the Ties’ process every night before you go to sleep (This process is on the Bounce Out of Bed hypnosis track available for free download on the ScaryandExciting.com website.

If It’s Scary and Exciting… Do It!

The more you become present in your life, the easier it becomes to identify opportunities for growth. Notice when you want to say something and say it. Take note and congratulate yourself when you say something that you would previously have held back from saying.
You’ll know you’re on the right track when you get that Scary and Exciting feeling. It means you’re doing something outside of your comfort zone – which means you are growing and becoming more!
Look for opportunities to be more expressive at work, in relationships, with friends and even with strangers in the street.

Pay It Forward

For extra bonus points, make a special effort to express your gratitude to a person each day. When you say “thank you” to a shop assistant, look the person in the eye and say it like you really mean it. Go out of your way to tell a store manager about good customer service you received from one of their employees. Write a note or call up a relative or friend to tell them the positive influence they have had on you and your life.

Care Less

Stop worrying about what other people think and start caring more about speaking your truth. Say what you need to say. If you’re coming from a good place and expressing yourself clearly, your words will almost always be well received.
If you struggle to express yourself, try writing down what you want to say first.
How you choose your words will also play a big part in how they are received. Avoid pointing the finger and blaming other people. Instead, try “When X happens, it makes me feel like you don’t care about me.” “When Z happens, it makes me feel like I am not being appreciated.” This avoids blame and also makes the person on the receiving end more open to a conversation and therefore a resolution. Don’t be afraid of appearing vulnerable when expressing yourself. Fear of being vulnerable is one of the main reasons people hold back from expressing how they really feel and as a result their message is watered down. Express yourself freely without fear.